Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Truth Behind the Blog

I know the blog title is very strange but let me explain. When you have a blog you only ever read what the arthor wants you to know what is going on in their life. As I have been re-reading over my blog I can see how I am only blogging about the good that is going on in my world and to be honest life is never that good.  I wanted to share with you what has been going on in my world over the past year.

I am 36 years old and for some reason when I hit 35 I started getting headaches. These headaches are like having freezer brain (you know that feeling you get when you eat something cold to fast.) Imagine freeze brain that last for hours and for days. NO FUN at all!

Last May I was referred to a neurologist to make sure there was nothing going on in my head. I know I can hear you laughing.  But when we did the MRI it came back normal. I could not believe it I have a normal brain. (Said with a laugh in my voice)
We moved forward knowing there was no tumors or anything like that to cause my headaches. It looks like I have inherited my mother's migraines. NOT FUN!

The neurologist tried me on lots of drugs, mostly blood pressure meds, to help prevent the headaches from starting to begin with. When we found one that would work in November 2011. I was so excited to have 5 days with out a headache. But soon after taking this drug I started to have side effects that where no fun at all.

Being the mom became hard to deal with. Better yet being the wife started getting harder too. Homeschooling my children became increasingly harder. Even using the preschool online curriculum was to much for me.  I started to feel unworthy to do anything correct. I got to the point of wanting to stay in bed all day. This drug started to cause depression. I made the mistake of going to my primary dr. instead of back to the neurologist. My primary was happy with the 5 days with no headache and put me on an additional drug that cause me to have major anxiety/panic attacks as the side effects. To the point I could not go out to a grocery store without having a panic attack. And if you know me in real life, I am the first person to agree to run into Walmart or Target if given the chance. I could not do it, I was scared to death.  I am now off that med and working my way back up to be able to go into stores. I have not gone alone yet. I still need a security blanket (my husband or my mom) to go with me. I know the drug is not in my system anymore but my brain will just not let me move past it, yet.

I have switched doctores completely and this new doctor has taken me off of everything that I was on before. Life is getting back to normal, but with normal for me comes more and more headaches. I am grateful for my new doctor as he has been in contact with me once a week via email to help keep track of how the new drugs are affecting me.

Right now I still have some depression/anxiety issues and my new doctor says it might take time before we are able to get past that. I also still am not sleeping well at night. I guess you could say I don't sleep but maybe 3 or 4 hours a night and not normally straight through either. Still looking for the headache answer too.

I know there are natural ways of dealing with these things and even chiropractic ways of dealing but this is the route Big Daddy and I have chosen to take right now.  (Please no negative comments)

So that is the truth behind this blog and what is going on in my world.
If you write blogs do you share everything with your readers or do you just share the good stuff with them?

Lil Momma Strouse


  1. Your loved ones and friends will always have your back. If they don't, then spend as little time as possible in their company. Your Dr. should be the only one you care what he has to say...healthwise. Kuddos for sharing in your blog.

  2. Congrats on taking that big step and deciding to share. We had discussed this very issue in the past. It's scary to share as EVERYONE has an opinion and they may mean well but they don't know when to stop. And I agree, if they aren't supporting you then you need to stay away from that negativity and surround yourself with positive supportive people. It's not easy battling depression and anxiety. Or is it any fun! Keep moving forward and don't look back!

  3. I'm so proud of you, my friend, for sharing all this. I know it has been a bigger struggle than your words can express. I continue to pray that the headaches stop as well as the depression and anxiety. I'm praising God that you got off those meds.

  4. I can so identify with you! I have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and every year or so I have the sleep issues you are describing. I'm currently in the middle of a bout so it has been a couple months since I slept over 4-5 hours a night. The medicine I normally take for GAD isn't really helping that much either, so I'm having to just wait it out this time. I'm SO sorry these headaches are plaguing you. My mom and aunt both had them terribly and they DID get better after menopause, but that's not much consolation for you, I know since you are still so young. I hope you find the right combo of treatments to help you feel better SOON!!! ((hugs))


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