Sunday, December 22, 2013

I want to Skip Christmas

As I sit here writing this blog, all I can think about is how much I want to skip Christmas.  I know that sounds awful.

Don't get me wrong I, love the Lord Jesus and want to celebrate his birthday, but it has been hard this year.

Everyone around me is wishing others Merry Christmas, baking goodies for their families, purchasing gifts and all I can think about is how this is the worst Christmas ever with the saddest heart.

I have really enjoyed our pastors series A Birth Like No Other.

Worship 12-15-13 Born of a Virgin 
Worship 12-22-13 Wise Men and Foolish King

But sitting in church each week of December has been harder and harder. I can hear my Daddies wonderful singing voice next to me. I have not made it through a service with out tears yet.  I know how sad I am and can only image how my mom feels. It breaks my heart to know she is in pain too.

This week our pastor made the comment multiple times that he hoped this Christmas would be our best Christmas. That simple statement just hit me in the heart hard. 

I have tried to do fun things with my kids over this holiday. Like putting up the Christmas tree,  peppermint play dough and walking the neighborhood to see Christmas lights, Even playing some painting games and word search games on the computer. 

I even went out and attempted to shop with Big Daddy. I just walked around more like a scared lump, in the crowds of people. But our kids are taken care of.  

I just miss my Daddy so much and each day I think of him in some way. My husband took me to the jewelry shop to pick out a charm for my pandora bracelet that would be a daddy charm.  I chose a bear.  When I was little my daddy used to take me to get sugar bear cookies. (chocolate bear shaped cookies with sugar on them) He would call me his Sugar Bear. Over the years the sugar dropped off and I was just plain Bear to him. I will always be my daddies Bear!

Praying for others who go through Christmas missing a loved one. That you find peace and are able to breath.  You know what I mean by breath. 

Merry Christmas, I love you Daddy!

Lil Momma Strouse

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